“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.”
– Sigmund Freud
Maybe you’ve lost that loving feeling…
One of my favorite authors, Thomas Moore, helped me view relationships from a soul perspective and a place of growth. His view of relationships as complex, mysterious, and imaginative spaces deepened an understanding of marriage and relationships as “soul work.”
Moving into this complex space of mystery and imagination as a couple is not easy, but it ultimately will deepen not only the intimacy you hold with your partner, but with yourself.
Marriage is fertile ground for deep and lasting changes, and true intimacy.
But sometimes, years of built-up resentment, loneliness, and contempt can deteriorate a marriage over time.
Living as a couple comes with many challenges.
Resentment from years of being taken for granted, not feeling seen or heard, and burying your needs slowly erodes a marriage.
Feeling lonely because of so little free time spent together, lack of sexual intimacy, or feeling un-prioritized by your partner or spouse doesn’t feel good.
If contempt or constant disagreements have become guests in your home and that loving feeling has disappeared, you are at risk of losing your relationship.
But it’s not too late if you are both willing and committed to doing the work of reconnecting.
In the beginning of your relationship…
…it was as if you could read your partner’s mind. You were always on the same page, and making decisions was easy.
Now, after a few years together, you might as well have come from different planets.
Disconnection possibly occurred when you were first together, but now simple disagreements have become a problem – trivial things like clothes left on the floor, dishes piling in the sink, coming home later than promised, or not helping out around the house.
Competitiveness in your relationship may prevent you from being on the same page and has led to continued conflict.
Selfishness or self-centeredness has also left you feeling lonely and isolated.
Doing the same routine day after day – home from work, dinner in silence, then watching TV, or hobbies separately, along with weekends spent with friends and seldom together will lead to disconnection.
Chances are your sex life is paying a sad price and has lost its luster, with less and less enjoyment.
It’s not uncommon that boredom from a lack of intimacy and connection from the daily routine of dinner, TV, then sleep can keep you in a lifeless relationship without soul, void of excitement, love, and passion.
Where is the person you fell in love with?
Little did you know that your partner was possibly wondering the same thing.
If you are feeling unseen, unheard, or disconnected from your partner…
It’s time to take notice.
Your long-term relationship or partnership has settled into a safe and reliable routine without that spark you had when you first met.
Numbed out or emotionally exhausted from working so hard on your relationship may have caused you to communicating on anything more than mundane details.
Anger and bitterness over past mistakes or irritations have led to loneliness and disconnection from each other.
Emotional or sexual infidelity by either party has led to pain and distrust in your relationship.
Hurt has prevented you from expressing yourself.
An empty nest has left you both struggling to recapture the fun, excitement, and companionship in your relationship before you had children.
Resentment, anger, disappointment, loneliness, infidelity, empty nest are all challenges in relationships…
… but you can restore your relationship.
Couples counseling can help you feel hopeful and connected.
Recapture the enjoyment you once shared by learning how to improve communication and stay tuned in to each other.
Working together in an environment where you feel safe to discuss deep and painful issues without judgment will help you emotionally open up.
You will be able to share your feelings safely with your partner and explore the underlying issues that will help you enhance and create deeper intimacy.
Your relationship, like a delicate flower garden, needs some attention.
Don’t despair. Conflict and these kinds of feelings are normal. These are just signs that growth needs to happen.
It is sometimes challenging to remember the tender feelings we had for our beloved when things get rough, and CHOOSING how we interact with our partners in every given moment is not easy…
… but recognizing the necessity of doing so is important to prevent further escalation when we are a couple.
It is never too late to rebuild intimacy and create a loving relationship.
I will help you both to share your vulnerability, concerns, hurts, and disappointment without blaming each other. We’ll create a safe, loving space to express and communicate your deepest needs.
Relationships are ever evolving, and conflicts and issues are signs that yours need attention.
I’ll help you improve aspects of your relationship that led to disconnection, and we will work towards improving your interactions to help your relationship withstand future turmoil or conflict.
Rebuilding bridges to reestablish that strong emotional bond…
As an eclectic practitioner, I use various strategies and techniques to help you re-establish strong emotional bonds between you.
I use psychodynamic approaches to explore and understand the underlying issues in more detail, and emotion focused therapy to help you regulate as a couple while sharing your emotional vulnerabilities.
I also utilize mindfulness to relieve anxiety along with other relational approaches to help create and renew your connection as a couple.
Relationship work is “soul work.”
It’s not easy, but so very worth it.
If you are struggling in your relationship and feel afraid that your problems are too big, or that it’s too late, please reach out.
It’s never too late. Struggles and challenges in relationships are normal; even if you feel distant or disconnected from each other, there is always hope.
Together, we will work toward deep and lasting changes and true intimacy by re-establishing trust and love in your relationship. We will do “soul work.”
Call now for your free 30-minute consultation: (845) 516-4779.